No more working harder. No more carrying heavier. No more chasing the carrot on a stick. No more accepting every armload of expectations and rules and responsibilities that they hand me in the subconscious hope for some meager scraps of validation. No more living like my purpose is to become resilient and my happiness must […]
This isn’t a pretty story, even if all you see are the fragrant blooms in the revealed chapter. What you don’t see, what happens in the quiet when not another soul is around, is bitter and painful. You don’t see the blood dripping from my hands as I dig against gravel and aged earth to […]
There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”. Too quiet. Too still. Too simple. Too boring. Too few definable goals. Too few material things. Too few observable activities. For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there […]
Every time you find yourself remembering what wasn’t there. Every time you have a moment of longing for all that you wished she could be. Lean all the way into it, then bring yourself back. Grab a hold of it, that feeling of love and security, with the same desperation that you would have had […]
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they said. But it did kill me. It killed my sense of self worth. It killed my faith in myself. My faith in love. My faith in the world. It murdered my hopes and crushed the seeds of any dreams under its heel. Yes, I got stronger. But […]
Sometimes the greatest gift is no gift at all. Sometimes being denied something is a push towards something better. There’s a reason the treasure waits at the end of the rainbow and not the beginning. Finding it must be a journey. It takes trust and hope and a bit of grit. You have to take […]
Finally, after so many years of neglect, that wounded little girl that I tried so hard to leave behind walked back out into the world with me. I dried her tears and took her hand and stood witness as she showed me all the things that once held her back. It was a beautiful process, […]
Continue on. And just when you start to turn the page on the wounds of the past, just when you start to feel the budding excitement of something you’ve never known, a conditioned voice in your head will tell you to look back. Continue on. It will whisper, “But what about him? What about her? […]
Sometimes I just have to disappear. I don’t mean ethereally, like in meditation or by consuming art, though I need that regularly too. I mean physically disappear. Sometimes I need to lose myself so completely that I’m lost to others as well. I have to shut off my phone, forget the world, and lose my […]
I won’t tell you to be positive.I won’t make you feel like you need to hide.I won’t change the subjectwhen you start to share what’s hidden inside.I won’t try to fix youlike you’re some sort of broken machine.I will look without agendaat the truths you wish to be seen.I’ve been there myself;I’ve felt that pain […]
No longer do I need to go somewhere remote and alone to find you. I find you here. Within me. Surrounding me. The breath before my breath. The sight before my sight. I find you in the innermost parts of me, waiting patiently for my mind to see. No longer must I gaze upon a […]
You can’t break a woman who is self made. She’s courageous and strong, because she walked through her darkest nights alone. She faced her own fears, and picked her own self up off the floor when it was time to start again. She doesn’t fear your monsters, because she was warrior enough to slay her […]
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