I forgive you for all of the pain you caused. And I forgive me for holding on to it for so long. You do not owe me anything and I no longer bind you to me in wounded frustration, fear, anger, or loss. I no longer bind myself by reliving those years in different faces, […]
There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”. Too quiet. Too still. Too simple. Too boring. Too few definable goals. Too few material things. Too few observable activities. For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there […]
I love the little things. Like natural light trickling through open blinds, or the way the painted sky calls me away, at least for a moment, nearly every morning and night. Books half read laying face down, waiting expectantly to be picked back up and adored again from the same page. I love getting lost […]
Courage. So few people talk about how quiet it is. The word sounds so loud. Like the roar of a lion or the thunderous clapping of a waterfall. But courage, I’ve found, is quiet. And it starts out small. Like a single stilled moment in a whirlwind of thoughts. Or single statement uttered into the […]
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they said. But it did kill me. It killed my sense of self worth. It killed my faith in myself. My faith in love. My faith in the world. It murdered my hopes and crushed the seeds of any dreams under its heel. Yes, I got stronger. But […]
Just me and God, in the early morning hours. We drift among stars dusting a sky of the darkest blue, with a tinge of turquoise spilling in at its edges. Like my soul, it too is changing with the rising light. Just me and God, alone and together. She moves me, standing still at the […]
Sometimes the greatest gift is no gift at all. Sometimes being denied something is a push towards something better. There’s a reason the treasure waits at the end of the rainbow and not the beginning. Finding it must be a journey. It takes trust and hope and a bit of grit. You have to take […]
Finally, after so many years of neglect, that wounded little girl that I tried so hard to leave behind walked back out into the world with me. I dried her tears and took her hand and stood witness as she showed me all the things that once held her back. It was a beautiful process, […]
Maybe the reason I kept my mouth shut for so long was that I knew I’d scare people and maybe even myself with what would come out. Such strange and beautiful and consequential things want to slip from this tongue. Mysterious things with terrifying depth and long lasting reverberations. Maybe I stayed so quiet because […]
Continue on. And just when you start to turn the page on the wounds of the past, just when you start to feel the budding excitement of something you’ve never known, a conditioned voice in your head will tell you to look back. Continue on. It will whisper, “But what about him? What about her? […]
I tend to be most alive in the day. I’m in love with the greens of the trees and I’m energized by the sun. I crave the sound of singing birds and the feel of sun-warmed skin. But when times get hard – when I’m tired, overburdened, or worn down – that’s when I become […]
I’ve never really fit into any group that well. Maybe that’s part unhealed trauma, part innate oddness, and part superpower. My seat has always been with the misfits. That’s where I belong. With the loners and the rebels, the broken and awkward and divergent ones. With the people who couldn’t fit the box if they […]
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