I forgive you for all of the pain you caused. And I forgive me for holding on to it for so long. You do not owe me anything and I no longer bind you to me in wounded frustration, fear, anger, or loss. I no longer bind myself by reliving those years in different faces, […]
There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”. Too quiet. Too still. Too simple. Too boring. Too few definable goals. Too few material things. Too few observable activities. For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there […]
Every time you find yourself remembering what wasn’t there. Every time you have a moment of longing for all that you wished she could be. Lean all the way into it, then bring yourself back. Grab a hold of it, that feeling of love and security, with the same desperation that you would have had […]
Courage. So few people talk about how quiet it is. The word sounds so loud. Like the roar of a lion or the thunderous clapping of a waterfall. But courage, I’ve found, is quiet. And it starts out small. Like a single stilled moment in a whirlwind of thoughts. Or single statement uttered into the […]
Ashes and dust clouds of crumbled strongholds floating upon the very air. crimson trails of old blood, fragments of broken ideas are scattered everywhere. armor cracked and bent, arms and sword heavy; it’s not me that’s scared. heart and mind at the ready, something deep inside knowing that only the light will prevail. ©️ 2024 […]
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they said. But it did kill me. It killed my sense of self worth. It killed my faith in myself. My faith in love. My faith in the world. It murdered my hopes and crushed the seeds of any dreams under its heel. Yes, I got stronger. But […]
Just me and God, in the early morning hours. We drift among stars dusting a sky of the darkest blue, with a tinge of turquoise spilling in at its edges. Like my soul, it too is changing with the rising light. Just me and God, alone and together. She moves me, standing still at the […]
One of the hardest things I ever did should have been the easiest. At least it seems like it should have been. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is let go. See, for years I had been carrying something so heavy, so cumbersome and awkward, that all I wanted to do was lay it down […]
For the first time in a while I felt like I belonged. At home in this place with no roof and no walls. For the first time in a while I found what I’d been missing. I found my footing. In the echoes of ancient truths whispered through the soles of my feet. I found […]
Finally, after so many years of neglect, that wounded little girl that I tried so hard to leave behind walked back out into the world with me. I dried her tears and took her hand and stood witness as she showed me all the things that once held her back. It was a beautiful process, […]
Maybe the reason I kept my mouth shut for so long was that I knew I’d scare people and maybe even myself with what would come out. Such strange and beautiful and consequential things want to slip from this tongue. Mysterious things with terrifying depth and long lasting reverberations. Maybe I stayed so quiet because […]
Continue on. And just when you start to turn the page on the wounds of the past, just when you start to feel the budding excitement of something you’ve never known, a conditioned voice in your head will tell you to look back. Continue on. It will whisper, “But what about him? What about her? […]
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