I’m rebuilding. But this time it’s different. This time I’m building a home within me first. I’ve already tore down the framework, pulled up the floorboards, and thrown out the trash. But this time I’m not looking outside myself for anything to start again. I’m not asking anything of anyone but myself. This time I’m […]
A message for my neurodivergent friends out there: Just paying attention is a practice in resiliency right now. If you are busy processing the onslaught of information, checking facts, finding your center, making plans – if you’re so busy that you don’t yet have the words, or haven’t yet found your method, you are not […]
I read something today, something that was beautifully written and seemed to use key words in just the right places so that it seemed right, but it also felt a bit ‘off’. I initially interpreted the off feeling as a trigger, an invitation to explore some wound, some confusion, something within me. So I read […]
This isn’t a pretty story, even if all you see are the fragrant blooms in the revealed chapter. What you don’t see, what happens in the quiet when not another soul is around, is bitter and painful. You don’t see the blood dripping from my hands as I dig against gravel and aged earth to […]
So many times over the years I was caught in wonder. I watched in amazement, as I witnessed the simple magic that some people seemed to carry without effort or even awareness. For years, I progressed through various stages of emotional response – first jealousy and fear, then admiration, yearning, seeking. These people inspired me. […]
There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”. Too quiet. Too still. Too simple. Too boring. Too few definable goals. Too few material things. Too few observable activities. For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there […]
Maybe the reason I kept my mouth shut for so long was that I knew I’d scare people and maybe even myself with what would come out. Such strange and beautiful and consequential things want to slip from this tongue. Mysterious things with terrifying depth and long lasting reverberations. Maybe I stayed so quiet because […]
It took a long time for her to understand. It took a long time to let go of her ideas and rules and plans so the truth could finally settle in. This is life. This is it. It’s not somewhere up ahead, a goal to press towards with degrees or achievements or measurable conquests. It’s […]
I’ve never really fit into any group that well. Maybe that’s part unhealed trauma, part innate oddness, and part superpower. My seat has always been with the misfits. That’s where I belong. With the loners and the rebels, the broken and awkward and divergent ones. With the people who couldn’t fit the box if they […]
I won’t tell you to be positive.I won’t make you feel like you need to hide.I won’t change the subjectwhen you start to share what’s hidden inside.I won’t try to fix youlike you’re some sort of broken machine.I will look without agendaat the truths you wish to be seen.I’ve been there myself;I’ve felt that pain […]
grounds are shakingwalls are caving in;exposing each fear,every anger and sin.every step I’ve taken,all I have beenchaos is brewing;the ice is too thin.alone in my headwords start to shake.releasing the pain,I let the ice break.cold water pullingit’s so hard to breathe.wounds I was hidingthey finally bleed.I’ve been here before.I know where to go.so journey I […]
I’ve come to believe that the secret to peace, to authentic happiness and fulfillment is to live as much as possible in the space between. The space between sentences, between thoughts, between doing this and doing that. The space between before and after, between here and there, feeling and thought, thought and action. The secret, […]
cristenwrites.com 