This isn’t about hair

This post is not about hair. It is. But it isn’t.

I always hated my hair color. From as young as I can remember. It’s dark blonde or light brown, depending on the season. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. I always thought of it as plain. Boring.

I colored it the second I turned 18. And I mean the second. Because hair color wasn’t an option in the house I grew up in.

First it was blonde. Very blonde. Then it was dark brown, pink, red, blonde again, a short venture to black, then back to red, and eventually blonde again. Every color except my own. Because all of those colors in the boxes seemed like ‘something’. But my hair looked to me like nothing. Nothing definable. An in-between. A mix that wasn’t bold enough. Or bright enough. Or appealing enough, during the dating years.

It never once occurred to me to let the color fade out and go back to my own, natural hair. Because who would do that, when there are so many ‘better’ colors to choose from?

Then my son was born. With his dad’s eyes and my hair. Perfect.

I’d touch it tenderly and love how fine and soft it was. Brushing it off his forehead when it grew a bit, I’d admire all of the facets of color. As he got a bit older, I started noticing the way it changes with the seasons and the lighting. Sometimes it has an unmistakeable red tint to it. Sometimes it lightens from summer sun and starts to get this subtle golden kind of glow to it.

I love my son’s hair. I love running my fingers through it to help him calm to sleep in the evenings. I love watching as he chooses how he wants it cut, or whether he wants to wear it messy or combed.

His hair is perfect.

And his hair is exactly like mine.

When it hit me the first time, it hurt, but I didn’t yet know why. I realized that the same hair I loved so much on him was the hair I judged and belittled and ultimately damaged on myself. I had the thought, it hurt, I got distracted and moved on.

But that was the beginning of something. Something freeing, opening, healing, and oh-so-beautiful. Something big.

I wear my hair natural now. And many other things too. But I won’t go into any more of my story, because I’m not sharing this to show you my world. I’m sharing it to give you permission to take another look into yours. You never know what overlooked beauty you may suddenly find there.

©️2026 Cristen Writes