Both Simple and Not

It was so easy, and yet it wasn’t.

She decided to take back control – but only after spending years living a life she didn’t want. She had to suffer the stories and the characters she’d built. She had to uproot the sources of the projections that maintained them.

In that moment of blooming it all seemed so simple – and it was – but the road to get there was not. It took courage and strength and determination. It took grit and tear stained pillows, cold nights, and heated flare ups. But in the end, all of that struggle was the result of living a lie.

So she chose to step into the truth. Simple and yet not. Before she could step into her truth, she had to loosen her hold on all of the beliefs she once held. She had to face the lies one by one. She had to feel their pain and see their consequences. She had to step fully into the pain of abandonment. She had to face head on the hopelessness of bondage. She had to walk through the misery of being less-than, not enough, unworthy, unloved.

Then and only then did she decide to own up to who she really was. A creator. Something far greater than the culmination of the many roles she’d played. Something far beyond the belief structures and limitations and judgments she’d made.

And that’s the irony of it, isn’t it? That in the end it’s really as simple as letting go.

In the end, it was all like the pages of a story that she had become so entrenched in that she forgot she herself was both the author and the reader. She herself created every character it contained – even the villain, even the herald, even the hero. And as those pages floated away, she was left with so much more than any single character or single story could ever contain.

She was free to live beyond the frame, outside of the prescribed rules. She realized that, if she could create a story so complex, riddled with so much pain – well, just imagine what she could create with the simplicity of truth. The truth that she is love. She is freedom. She is both peace and chaos, both the storm and the rainbow. She is creation. She is creator.

That’s how she stepped into her power. You see, it’s just about letting go – both simple and not.

© 2020 Cristen Writes