Some of us are built of something different. Some of us need to be uprooted in order to grow. We have to deliberately let go of everything that grounds us, that shelters us, that defines and confines what’s real. Some of us have to burn, to break, to jump, to implode – because in that moment of disorientation, disintegration, disconcertion we completely rediscover ourselves. Freed from the shackles of what we claim for comfort and from the perceptions that keep things safely the same, we can restructure ourselves in new and unforeseen ways. From scattered dust, we are reborn as the creators of ourselves, tackling lifetimes of learning and transmuting ages of pain in a few short spins of the sun.
Some of us are born to seek, to find the truth, to become lucid dreamers, to know our strength; and so we are also built to withstand the pressure of being shaken, thrown, humbled, and undone. We are often born into adversity, into challenging places and times, or to circumstances that place us outside of the box so we can learn courage and develop the strength we’ll need for the unravelings to come.
We are the outcasts and the loners, the awkward, eccentric, and nonconformists. We question the norm, challenge the status quo, look for the underlying reasons, and seek the truth; and so we find it hard to settle in to standard roles or to accept antiquated beliefs. Often, we are mocked, ridiculed, judged, and abandoned by our society as we work behind the scenes to heal the very types of pain we have attracted. Other times, we act as human catalysts, shocking and mesmerizing our peers with new worlds and foreign ideas from the start.
To the innocent observer, we may appear to be broken, adrift, without structure or purpose, lonely, or lost – but we know our personal irony is that our wholeness, our purpose, our direction, and our connections come from accepting all of the above. It is our wildness that makes us grounded, our freedom that gives us purpose, and our brokenness that gives us strength. We seek and we find the truth of our souls, accepting both the shadow and the light; and we tease that truth from others simply by embracing it within ourselves.
It might seem unfair to those we must leave behind each time our hearts break open, minds rewire, and worlds turn, but deep inside we know that it’s all a part of the plan. In our hearts we know that our own courage, struggle, and growth frees others to question, seek, and grow.
We are made of something different, and so we are hard to hold on to. We expect more, we dig deeper, we expose all, and we answer only to our own souls. We may be difficult to catalogue, to discipline, to contain – but if we choose to dance with you for even a short while, it’s almost certain that we will dance with a sort of sincerity, passion, and purpose that will leave us both completely changed.
© 2018 Cristen Rodgers