When a flower loses a petal, it continues to bloom. It doesn’t close in upon itself in fear of losing another. And it doesn’t reach out to take one from its neighbor. When a tree is bent by the wind, it digs down even deeper. A tree continues to grow, and through that struggle it […]
I wonder if he knows how often his name still crosses my lips, or how everyone I’ve loved remembers his name and envies whatever magic he must possess. Whatever magic makes the simple memory of him revive something deeper than even the most experienced of divers can’t seem to find. I wonder if he realizes […]
This isn’t a pretty story, even if all you see are the fragrant blooms in the revealed chapter. What you don’t see, what happens in the quiet when not another soul is around, is bitter and painful. You don’t see the blood dripping from my hands as I dig against gravel and aged earth to […]
Hold the line. When the world feels like a sea of quicksand, grabbing at your ankles and trying to pull you down. Be still and wait. Wait for the hope that’s already rising inside. Hold the line. When it seems like everyone is giving in and giving up. Remember the truth, that even these mountains […]
So many times over the years I was caught in wonder. I watched in amazement, as I witnessed the simple magic that some people seemed to carry without effort or even awareness. For years, I progressed through various stages of emotional response – first jealousy and fear, then admiration, yearning, seeking. These people inspired me. […]
I forgive you for all of the pain you caused. And I forgive me for holding on to it for so long. You do not owe me anything and I no longer bind you to me in wounded frustration, fear, anger, or loss. I no longer bind myself by reliving those years in different faces, […]
There are so many people stepping up and saying “you are not too much”. But there hasn’t been much talk about being “too little”. Too quiet. Too still. Too simple. Too boring. Too few definable goals. Too few material things. Too few observable activities. For years I suffered under the weight of thinking that there […]
Have you ever had so many things change at once that, in a single reflection, you realize you have no idea how you got here? And you’re not even sure yet where here is. You’re just sure that’s it’s not somewhere you’ve been before. The only thing that’s familiar is the sound of your own […]
I love the little things. Like natural light trickling through open blinds, or the way the painted sky calls me away, at least for a moment, nearly every morning and night. Books half read laying face down, waiting expectantly to be picked back up and adored again from the same page. I love getting lost […]
I think that for my entire life I have been looking for you, though I didn’t know it until now. I sought you out in the faces of co-workers and the arms of lovers. I denied you in the empty words of strangers who saw ‘too little’ and the distant looks of friends who saw […]
In matters of the heart I have never been able to settle on anything short of real. Sometimes I get distracted, but nothing but true intimacy long appeals. I need something that goes beyond. Beyond the trappings of social norms and roles, dramas, wounds, or masks. I guess I’m addition or quantum physics, depending on […]
You were my first. Not my first kiss. Not my first love, or my first pain. You weren’t my first sunshine, or my first rain. Not my first teacher it’s true, but you might have been the first to really get through. Your lessons were like a hammer against the remainder of my pride. Your […]
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